Crofting Wifie’s 5 point guide to being a pregnant poacher:

1. Eat bacon rolls, no one bats an eyelid when you put a bit of flab on.
2. Don’t tell anyone until after you have sheared the sheep and baled the hay field. People like to stop you having fun.
3. The advise of no ‘heavy’ lifting is subjective. Reasoning goes: 20kg chicken food bags on the shoulder was the norm, therefore reduce this to just transferring the sacks rather than carrying.
3. A 6.5×55 (aka the deer rifle) is not heavy – you just have to remember what weight you are shooting if successful and the length of your rachet straps. None of the NHS info said just to stick to the .22
4. Take your trailer test late on – your examiner is likely to keep the exam short and sweet when he seemed to go into a bit of shock when you a) told him how far along you are, and b) you need to pass it to go pick up a bull in two weeks because the Crofter is at work.
5. A MF565 (without four wheel drive) is very nerve-racking – get some help to feed the cows. The Dexta on the other hand can be used all the way up to week 41+2 when harrowing. Third gear isn’t such a good idea although at least I can say I tried the bumpy road theory to prompt mini-crofter to make an entrance.

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