How to guide: sorting cows

1. When chasing cows, make sure it’s done during A & E’s least busy times. No point doing an ankle injury during peak times. You never know if you may need the service so plan your day wisely.

2. Have extra ice in the freezer from collecting lamb from the abattoir to apply to said ankle while you observe the damage.

3. Get mini crofter on standby to start bawling to stop you from running recklessly around a field after countless attempts.

4. Use all terrain buggy as a prop to get back to the house. Two for one, much more use than crutch/zimmer frame and you don’t have to carry anything, i.e., bawling baby.

5. Och your a nurse, it’ll just be a sprain, just get back out and do a few ‘wee’ things, like moving electric fence wires and hoeing.

6. Ensure the mini crofter knows that beef is really tasty, particularly when your the one to chase them and if you’re on the croft, the more feet the better for chasing…