Bandits in the byre

SSE (Scottish and Southern Energy) obviously feels it is of high importance to notify me 6 times about an up coming power cut. This is after a proposed power cut last week which I only received 4 letters for and never happened.

Should I wonder why they think I need to be told so much? Or do they think I may never receive some of them? Do they think the steers will hijack the postie on the way past the byre? The cows are good at acting like bandits (think NY gangster style) if they think you have food. Recycled energy buckets are used to give cows nuts, energy buckets are postbox red, postie drives red van, van must means lots of cow nuts, postie approaches croft with the imagine of wagons crossing the Wild West, he has a will to survive and return home after shift, therefore he is likely to surrender remaining post to cows and give only one SSE letter to the crofting wifie as the cows happily munch through the loot of five SSE envelopes.

Man, can you imagine being on the Communication and public relations of SSE’s rural settings department? What else do they have to factor in to ensure those of us in the sticks receive their information?

More annoyingly though, their letter states they will give our details to third parties for marketing research and training purpose; I’d like to know what research they have behind so many letters! Who else has hijacking cows? Unless it’s normally sheep…?